BOY,
you already hurt her in a sense. And you two aren’t even official yet.
Before I tell you what’s going to happen if you hurt her for real, let me explain a few things.
She was terrified to tell you she liked you, and she was even more terrified to open your message. Her mood COMPLETELY changed when she opened it and called me. I had never heard her so happy in the almost-three (!) years that we’ve known each other.
And guess what? You are the one who has made her happier than she’s ever been throughout this whole week, 3am Facebook chats or otherwise. She understands that this is probably as new to you as it is to her, so she understands why things may get awkward sometimes.
And now she just abruptly signed off because, well, it was past her deadline and because your conversation wasn’t as fun as the others had been. Now maybe you were just tired, but still.
Just go back to how you were last weekend (the 4th), please, and do it well before Saturday. Because I would like for it to become official with you two as well, and you’re a pretty decent guy.
But if you hurt my bitch for real, I swear to god, you will be burnt french toast with expired syrup, and you will regret it. I know I have at least two people in Madison behind me, and they’re beasts, so you better watch it.
Lots of love, the best third wheel you’ll ever hate :)
